nothing like being sick on a zippy spring day. well, nothing as worse, perhaps, like being sick on a dazzlingly beautiful summer day.
some kind of intestinal virus. or maybe, just my body'’s normal compensatory reaction to my gluttony last night.
oh, pork rinds in shrimp paste. nothing like the frank fisherfolk fare i was used to growing up. not to mention, artery choking, too.
but this is not a healthy living post. i don’'t know what it is either.
and so, i’'ve been sitting here by my window since eleven this morning and not an iota of me wanted to eat or read something, two of the only things in life i basically wanted to do all the time.
oh, i'’m sorry i lied. that, too.
as such, i was this close to republishing a previous post (march 30, 2005). that one about my friend'’s love child, a winsome boy, sired by a soon to be man of the cloth.
okay, so i copped out. but i reckoned i got valid reasons.
one, of course, is my being unwell. two, i’ve read recently, much to my consternation, a study that found out that most blog trollers hardly read any previous posts. those prodigals, i was fuming. three, and most importantly, finally she wrote me, i mean my friend, the mother of my godchild in absentia.
and as i was to upload that stale post, with some few trifling brush ups here and there, blogger.com stalled me like forever.
it'’s like emperor constantine seeing the sign of the cross emblazoned across the sky. or it could very well be just my soporific medications.
and so this dismal post about nothing.
well, about perhaps, this naked tree two blocks away from my building.
from my window, this still bare tree insisted on putting a most dazzling show for invalid me.
its seemingly prehensile branches clutched sunbeam and played it, like a multi stringed instrument, a light harp.
only for me.
the light riffled through my unwashed window and i sat there unable to explain the ambivalence of my feelings.
on one hand, i was aggrieved over things, people, loves i'’ve lost all these years.
on the other hand, a big part of me wanted to celebrate my still being around in this world. sick perhaps, but still around.
from where i was sitting, i tried to catch the light with my fingers, grateful to receive fragments, shards, broken pieces of a brittle artifact most of us dismissingly call life.