gifted families are all alike. every artless family is ungifted in its own way.
ours never had any member who can paint, one who can sing like a wounded kanaway nor one who can talk to the dead. and everyone, especially my mother, have never mastered the art of giving gifts.
on the 7th, or was it 8th, birthday of a friend from a family more impoverished than ours, i casually dropped in to their house expecting some token of a celebration. but all they had was their usual fare of brown rice and stewed reef fish.
i didn't know what came over me but it suddenly became imperative for me to treat this friend to something. i told him we should go watch this lito lapid movie.
but when we were at the box office of our island's nipa thatched movie house, i suddenly faltered in the thought that i may not have enough money with me. i got out of the queue to count my coins, my fifties, my quarters, like rosary mysteries.
sheepishly my friend told me maybe it was a bad idea to go see this movie. but i was on a mission. so i talked to the ticket lady and promised her i would bring the next day the balance of what we would owe her for two tickets. she agreed and that was that.
but the next day as i went back to fulfill my promise, the ticket lady told me that my mother already paid for the tickets. and suddenly i was just filled with dread. how could you tell her this, i was muttering to myself as i quickly got away from this nosy woman.
that night, i was waiting for my mother to go ballistic on my profligacy. but she never talked about it. not then, not throughout my high school years. not until yesterday.
yesterday, i talked to her on the phone and she was hinting at wangling some extra bucks from me. a neighbor, she told me, needed help in defraying the burial costs of one of their grandparents.
since when is that my problem? i asked her. there was a pause and then her gravelly voice came back. look at this as a payment for when i paid your debt to manang lita. manang lita who? i asked her. the ticket lady, she told me and the rest of the movie story.
inordinately, we've always prided ourselves as a giving family. you should see our pledges for our little protestant church. but then something, some little voice inside, always nags me, even while growing up, about this ostensible family generosity.
blessed, indeed, are those who can give without remembering. unfortunately, our family is gifted with such long memories.