half awake, i nuzzled closer to the snoring strange man. not content, i pillowed my right cheek against his chest. i am startled by the fierceness of the beating of his heart.
i must have exclaimed something because he woke up. "what," he said. "there are wild horses in your heart," i said. then, i realized how lame it was. what i said about the horses.
he ignored me and thankfully went back to sleeping. when i closed my eyes again, he told me he had a "heart thing" when he was a child. "what thing?" i asked. "you should know," he said, "you work in a hospital." "no, i don't know," i said. "some congenital heart failure," his voice edgier.
early dawn, i felt him got up to pee. when he crawled back, he asked me if i was awake. "no," i said. "mama," the strange man said, "used to tell me i wish for too many things. that's how my heart got fucked up."
in a heartbeat, he went back to snoring. his face, that of a wise man. acutely insightful. i wanted to wake him up and tell him his mother is so full of it. but i didn't. i must have been lulled quickly into this dream of a wild stallion, untamed like the strange man's fervid wishes, kicking his heart in some surreal rodeo. he was thrown off the saddle and yet the horse asked him again if he'd like another ride. true to form, he said yes. and i, like his mother, screamed from the stands, "no, idiot, no."
