That fat kid

i used to be that fat kid in a candy shop. i just couldn't get enough of everything life had to offer. samuel johnson, of course, famously said “when a man is tired of london, he is tired of life.”  i am not that tired yet of new york, but with the exception of the met museum, the opera, some broadway shows, the public library, i’m pretty much done with it. tonight, tired from a pointless foray with friends into this vacuous outlet mall in a hamlet several miles away from new york, i go home to my bronx apartment deluded that i am hearing cricket songs. i feel like a buddhist monk, sitting on the porch of a hut in an early autumn evening, awaiting for enlightenment, but only seeing a village down below buried in mists.